The Sobbing Bride

So it’s been 10 days since I got married, 5 days since I got back home to Melbourne and 8 years since I moved out from my parents’ home, but I still feel the new bride blues.

Growing up I always wondered why independent strong girls still hugged their parents and cried on their wedding day, I mean you already live by yourself so what difference is marriage going to make. Last year itself when one of my best friends got married in Melbourne, we had a big sob fest at one of the wedding functions, just expressing our love for her and her parents. She wasn’t going anywhere, she literally lives 15 minutes away from me, but we still hugged and cried.

And then exactly one week ago, at New Delhi International Airport the tears came again, this time for me. I hugged my parents and my brother and sobbed like a baby. The people at the airport must have definitely thought I was one of those new brides being left at my in laws house after a big wedding. Things did not get better even after I got back to Melbourne, the innate sadness and missing of my family coupled with the jet lag, led to phone calls at 3 am to my parents which would have reminded them of my days when I initially moved to uni.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love living in Melbourne and I have lived with my now husband for the past 5 years anyways, but all of a sudden I felt like that 18 year old again who just wanted to see her parents every day and be at home with her brother. I have been trying to decipher the reason for this the past week and while it might just been an after effect of the amazing holiday and wedding I do think that it is more than that.

I think when a girl gets married, no matter at what age or what her living situation is at that point, there is a big part of her that feels like she may now loose a connection with her maiden home. The fear that somewhere she will not be able to fall back on her parents support like she used to. While marriage brings with it a lot of joy and happiness it also brings with it the responsibility which may have not been there in a live in relationship, along with a new family as well. The fear of that responsibility along with the overwhelming love and gratitude that you feel for the things your parents have done for you could definitely lead to some tears.

Personally, my parents have always been my superstars and my brother is but an extension of my heart so even the slightest feeling of being away from them in any manner scares the living daylights out of me. While I may have accepted it over the past 8 years that I do live 14,000 kms away and 7 hours ahead of them, the wedding showed me how emotionally dependent I still am on them. I require to talk every detail out with my dad, fight every emotion out with my mom and hug every day out with my brother.

So this is for the girls who are confused as to why they want to cry when they get married, even if they have lived away for years or if they will continue to stay in the same city as their parents. You are crying not because you are now going to lose a place in your parents’ home, you are tearing up because you realise how amazing your life has been and how grateful you are to your family for all that they have done for you. You are crying because while you can’t wait to start your new life with your husband, you want to hold your family even closer so that they can guide you on this journey.

So laugh, smile, cry and just remember you will always be a daughter first!

-E